Most of the things I've done so far were semi random experiences that presented themselves. This one however was something that was on my list. Something that I craved to search out. I've said it before but it ceases to amaze me at all the things my hometown has to offer. Seriously pick your poison. You want to go to a witchcraft book store? Seattle has it. You want to record music in the basement studio of some weirdos house? Seattle has it. Last weekend I ended up at some sketchy karaoke bar in Chinatown at 3am...because Seattle has it. So it wasn't a big surprise when I found a club that trains in broadsword fighting techniques.
After my experience in the sensory deprivation tank I had a moment of clarity that I need to make a better effort to maintain friendships and repair those that have dwindled. I figured this would be a good one to invite one of my oldest and best friends Beau out to. Beau and I have had tons of adventures and have a plethora of stories about getting into shenanigans in high school. Of course he was down for some sword fighting.
Like most of my 30 for 30 it starts with an awkward moment of where the Hell am I?
I find Beau waiting for me so I know I've got the right address or at least we're both in the wrong place. Nowhere around is there anything resembling a sword fighting class.
If I was going to a children's tumbling and circus class maybe I'd be in the right place. Kids bouncing on trampolines. People juggling and practicing jumping and catching routines. Balancing acts and acrobats but no swords..we eventually found someone to direct us to the right area.
This club basically doubles as a gym or workout class that you happen to be swinging blunt edges at each other.
We met Eric the owner/operator of the club and he gave us the run down of what we'd be getting into. But before we could have any fun we had to take a moment to read the fine details. I sign my life away from being bludgeoned or decapitated. Standard, please don't be a dick and sue us forms that have to be a part of the society we live in.
Eric starts to give us the run down and safety requirements to not get hurt or hurt anyone else. As he's explaining he grabs my sword which I already had pointed probably too close to his face and sticks it towards the ground.
Not long after more members start showing up. It's your basic group of white male nerds who've actually pushed themselves away from their computer screens to get a little exercise. We run around in circles getting warmed up and then separate far enough to practice some long swipes. Ground up, ground up - up down, up down. Lunges, squats and then reverse.
After everyone is all warmed up we separate into partners and are taught a basic defense move without our swords. In this lesson you're being attacked with a "pretend" knife.
You deflect the arm with the knife and counter with your own knife attack in the neck. Back and forth 10 to 12 times then reverse. Now your attacking and getting stabbed. Lots of moving and switching. Until it's time to switch partners then we practice a reversal and shove.
In this exercise the attacker dodges your block and you have to switch your footing to shove them away. I totally ended up with the teacher on this one. I could tell he was getting frustrated with my uncoordinated ass. Because when it was his turn to shove he progressively shoved me harder and harder. Back and forth a couple dozen times.
Finally, we get our swords back and switch partners again. Standard strike and block technique taking turns. At no point do the swords strike. If you're hitting; you're too close for comfort. Then they bring a little movement into the mix. You strike as your partner backs up. Wash, rinse, repeat.
The most advanced thing we got to do was a swipe down, strike forward, reverse up. Over and over.
If you read my post about the salsa dancing lessons you'll notice a trend about me. Anything that requires my full body moving in any sequence of motion is usually an uncoordinated mess. Except this time I didn't have music or alcohol to help out.
During one of my partner switches I'd made a joke about it being a lot like dancing. That guy did not find my quip amusing. Sorry dude, but it totally is. Four steps then repeat four steps then reverse. Same thing but instead of dancing with hot girls I'm reversing with sweaty nerds. I can't be too hard on myself after all no one is perfect their first time out.
They wouldn't let Beau and I try the second half of the class. I guess it was too advanced? They all pulled out plastic one handed sabers. That was our cue to leave.
Things I learned today:
Keep in touch with your good buddies. It's easier than you think.
Watch your mouth when talking about someone's passion. People tend to be touchy when it comes to their hobbies
Fighting is a lot like dancing. A repetition of moves until it's fluid and muscle memory.
Exercise doesn't have to be a boring treadmill.
I found a good place to go if you ever want to run away and join the circus.
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