I've never had a massage before and like most of my experiences it was fine for a one time thing. I'd do it again but wouldn't miss it if I never went back. The whole situation was a little awkward; as many of my 30 for 30 stories go. This one starts with me driving to a place right next to my work. I work in a very industrial part of town where there's just about nothing around. So, we're off to an interesting start going to this cold corporate complex next to the funky little overpriced deli I go to once in a while.
I walk in and the place is empty. No receptionist, no clients, nobody. Granted I scheduled it after work and it was a quarter to five. Finally a guy comes out from out of a little dark office and introduces himself. I explain that I had a scheduled a session for tonight. "Oh yeah you're Vito, come on back. I enter the little dark office it has a massage table in it and inviting enough decor that looks like it came out of Pinterest.
I explain to the guy that I've never had a massage and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He tells me that he'll leave the room and that I get under the blanket on the table. Sure, easy enough..I take my shirt off but leave my jeans on. Have you ever slept in your bed while wearing jeans? Uncomfortable. A few minutes later he comes back in and asks if there are any spots that are hurting. I say no but go ahead and work on my back, neck and shoulders just keep your hands above the equator. I'm the type of person that lives with the world on my shoulders. Let's see if we can remedy that. I sit in an office all day and the back and neck made sense too.
He lathers up his hands with something consistent with the olive oil I use for cooking. Then proceeds to work my back the same way I put said olive oil on a ribeye steak. Throw a little salt and pepper on me and I'd be good to hit the grill. As he worked up my back and into my shoulders he asked if I needed more or less pressure. I'm a tough guy, ok so sure lets go for more pressure. It felt like my skin was silly putty. Some spots pinched and others could handle the excess work but still today as I write this a little over 24 hours later my everything feels like, well, a bunch of sore muscles. I guess I really needed it because at one point I became so relaxed I swear I fell asleep practically drooling through that little hole my face was in.
I didn't wake up or snap out of it until he told me to flip over. At that point he worked my neck, shoulders and the back of my head. Ouch, didn't know the skin on the back of your head could move like that. I was a little disappointed there wasn't any cracking involved. The massage was at a chiropractic center and I'm probably 30 years due for an adjustment. Maybe I'll go back to try my bones at little snap, crackle & pop.
Things I learned today:
If you walk into a place like you belong there you can get away with just about anything
You have skin on the back of your skull that can move
I carry a lot more tension then I need to in my life
It's just as important to find the time to relax as it is to work and accomplish goals
Let go of being embarrassed. Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about what you're doing.
I'm not too proud of this one but I stand by my choice to go and wouldn't change it. I don't ever need to go back but at least I can say I went.
This day was a very long one with a morning full of disappointment and an evening full of bad decisions. I think the best way to get this off my chest is to just write it down and put it out there. Once you get the full story, my decisions...are at least I feel, are a lot more justified. I was hurt, I didn't want to admit it but I was feeling pretty stung and today felt as good a time as any.
For the past month I've been pursing this girl. From the moment we met I was intrigued and over the course of the month I was absolutely smitten. I'd never gone out with a girl like this before. Sweet, caring, innocent, a little naive, well balanced, stable with a good background and very similar values to my own. She was absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. The more I got to know her and the more time we spent together I really started to like her. Maybe I played it like too much of the nice guy. Flowers, handmade cards and carefully well thought out dates to impress her. But she always kept me at a distance and never showed that much interest now that I look back on it. I took it as she was just slightly aloof with a busy schedule and when there was time to fit me in I'd take it and make myself available. Chump work, but I'm a sucker for romance and this one felt right to me. I knew she wasn't ready for anything serious and I knew I'd have to take it slow. But the days would ache by and I wouldn't hear anything from her. All the signs pointed to her just not being that interested. So just when I'm about to write her off I get a text to go hiking and my excitement rises.
Days go by and we go on our hike. When we get to the top of the trail she totally Han Solo'd me.
I spill it out and explain that I really like her...Her response is "that's nice"
On the car ride back, I can't leave it alone. I need to be honest with my feelings and know now rather than later to avoid getting really hurt. Again I prod, "I know you're not ready for anything serious, but further down the line do you see it going that way?" She tells me "at this time it would be no"
It sucks, it stings, I thought she was different, that she could handle my nice guy nature. I know I can come on too strong but I'm an all in type of person and if I like you. You're going to know it..period
This is how assholes are created. Chop me down one too many times and what the fuck is left? I'll probably write a good screenplay out of it which is one of my 30 for 30's so there's a plus.
I had the rest of the day to process it. Think it all over and over again and again. I felt good, I had closure which is something I usually never get with girls that drop me like a hot rock. Most of the time they just disappear without rhyme or reason. At least I had that...and it put me at a comfortable ease. The thing I ended up realizing and actually which hurt the most was that she didn't care at all. It wasn't that she didn't like me or that I had some terrible flaw or reason that she couldn't look past. It all came down to me being so insignificant to her that going out with me wasn't even on her radar. Probably not something she even thought about. A spec of dust, on a fly, a mile away. Her lowest priority..and that's what hurts. That's where the rest of the story comes in.
I felt comfortably numb the rest of the day. I surrounded myself with friends to try and avoid moping too much. Keep yourself busy and you won't have time to think about your problems. Another failed pursuit and another great glob of dating disaster stories for me to add to the list. I should collect all of my awkward dating stories...maybe make a blog about that too. Anyways, I'm skirting the story and trying to avoid writing about something I'm kind of ashamed of. I don't know why either. I didn't do anything wrong. But it does kind of change my perception of myself. Like all of a sudden I'm one of those creeper guys. Give it a little time and I'll snap out of it.
Trying to keep myself busy I accept an invitation to a buddy's friend's birthday party. Dust myself off, shower and get dressed up. My little brother had to give me some shit before I walked out the door. "Man, you're going out again already?!? You're like that beat up boxer with a bruised face going another 5 rounds." What's the worst that can happen? Let's go out and get a little shitty. I feel like shit why don't I just gloss over it with alcohol. We ended up at a pretty nice classy little microbrewery late for the party but earlier than everyone else. I met some new folks and bought a few rounds. It was an odd group of people. Friends of friends that didn't all fit the same molds. I ended up chatting with a few people at my end of the table. After a few beers my new friends invited me to hit up another bar around the corner. I wave to my buddy that I'll be back and take off with three strangers. Why not right? Let's make this night an adventure! We end up getting into their car and immediately they start joking about doing coke...what the Hell am I getting myself into? We go off somewhere I have no idea where and end up at some shit hole dive bar.
It's your classic dive bar..neon beer lights, old out of date sports posters, big bellied no teeth guys snugged up against the counter. A rough looking older bartender behind the counter pouring stiff drinks. My new cohort buys me a shot; uh oh another night of whiskey drinking. I chat it up with another one of my new friends as they start to bring over all their bar fly buddies. They're all taken in by my name as most drunk people are. "Vito, Vito, Vito, Vito ahhh like the Godfather! Vito Corleone" "Yes, yes something like that." Immediately I get that tough guy Italian stature despite me being being as soft as a kitten. I owe my new counterpart a shot for the one he bought me. I hand this guy a shot of whiskey and he seems smashed. Words are slurred, he's staggering and he drove us here. I have no idea how much time has passed, where I'm at or really who the Hell I'm with. He pours half his shot into my glass and I interrupt saying its about time to get me back because I left my tab open and the brewery is about to close. I get into the car with this drunk guy and he drives me back.
Good, familiar territory, bright lights my buddy waiting and working on his own buzz. Whiskey coursing through my veins I order another beer. I reconnect with the group and sit down on some comfy leather couches. We have a couple laughs and I end up spilling half my beer on my lap and shirt. At this point I don't really care. I'm lit up to the point where nothing really matters anymore.
One more drunk driver, public urination and public intoxication later we wind up at the strip club.
It's movie magic from the moment we walk in the door to sitting down near the stage. Everything I'd seen in the movies was pretty much how things were. Fat bouncer doorman ready to take a $20 cover from you. Neon lights and mirrors everywhere. Strippers all too eager to sit in your lap and try to coax money off you. I watch a few dancers do their thing but nothing too impressive. Seems like there was an A stage and B stage. Stage A had the pole dancers and stage B had well, the B dancers. A kinda big girl shaking and wobbling everything about. My buddy disappeared for a private dance and I had to make sure I got that side of the experience too. Finally a tall blonde came up to me and convinced me to go back with her. She said a lot of dirty things, and it was all fake. Lady, please, I'm in sales and whether you're selling sex appeal or heavy equipment parts I can spot when someone isn't genuine. Regardless, she did her job right because I probably spent way too much money there. As her whole song and dance came to an end she was feeding me a line of BS about how great a time she had and she really wanted to give me her number so I'd come back and see her again...I simply responded "that's nice."
We didn't stay much longer after that. The club had sucked us dry out of any extra money I was willing to spend. All the wonder and curiosity was now replaced by shame and guilt. I looked around at all the guys I now had to compare myself with. Taking my final glances around the place while walking out I caught the same blond pulling another victim into her web. Poor guy has no idea what he's getting into.
Things I learned today:
The prettier they are the harder you fall
I really need to slow down on my drinking
Fake interest, or real interest, women are masters of playing me like an instrument
Sorry folks no pictures this time but it was basically like the one above. After my unintentional month long hiatus from my 30 for 30 a salsa dancing lesson was a pretty difficult one to come back to. Not only was this an intimidating feat it also didn't play well to my natural abilities. To get a better idea of what I'm talking about there's an old family joke saying that I do Jack & Jumps not Jump & Jacks. I'm a terrible dancer and naturally overthink things. This made me nervous and it took a little liquid courage to jump in.
Seattle never ceases to amaze me at what kind of random things are going on around the city. This week there just so happened to be a drop in beginners salsa dancing class in Capitol Hill. Seeing how I wasn't doing anything productive on a Thursday night at 9pm I figured I'd go check it out. This is another one of my things that I went at alone. Fighting the parking on Cap Hill I ended up arriving about 10 minutes late. I walked into a huge ballroom with about 30 people all partnered up and dancing together. In the center of them was a woman in yoga clothes with a headset giving instructions.
I walked up to the in-house bar and ordered a shot of Jameson...at least I know I can do that right.
Once I was properly lubricated I started to observe the couples. I noticed one asian guy dancing by himself and thought oh great now I'm gonna be like that guy because I didn't bring a date. But after about 60 seconds or so everyone would switch to their left and start with a new partner. I asked a couple of guys standing out on the sidelines what to do. They explained you just jump in the middle of the line and you'll have a partner.
So I jumped in just as they were switching and started dancing with this kinda socially awkward girl. She didn't introduce herself and there's an odd amount of uncomfortable tension when you have to place your hands on a complete stranger. Keep in mind I'm about 10 minutes late into the lesson so they're at part 3 or so. I try my best to pickup steps 1 and 2 with no instructions. By the time I had figured out number 1 it was time to switch partners. This merry go round continued for another 5 or 6 steps until it was time to spin your partner.
It felt just like speed dating. You get to meet a new woman every minute and everyone is different levels of comfortable. Some would introduce themselves and others would just get right down to dancing. I'd break the ice with a be gentle its my first time joke and many were receptive and helpful. It's funny how some people can teach really well and others make it so damn difficult. I would be dancing great with one woman and then the very next one I'd screw it all up again. Eventually it started clicking. I really had to focus on the music and then the movement came more natural. Then again, maybe it was the whiskey kicking in.
I have to equate it to the same way I play music. Where I can play something by ear and keep pretty good timing. But if you give me sheet music and tell me to play using this and a 4/4 beat it all goes out the window. Once I stopped trying to count the pattern and instead just focused on the music it helped me keep my timing. Of course as soon as I was comfortable the lesson was over and here came the hard sell. This was just the $10 drop in class but the real thing was every week and if you act now you'll get $5 off the class! I didn't sign up for any additional classes but honestly the majority of the women were stunning and this seems like a great place to meet girls. That alone would make me give it another go. Stupid Capitol Hill parking & all.
Afterwards it was all freestyle dance and it seemed like attendance doubled. The dance floor was packed then suddenly there were a dozen tiny Hispanic men who owned the place. They were so good it didn't matter that they were 4 foot nothing. They commanded the attention and could dance with any woman in the house. I took a seat back at the bar and eventually met an older lady who was more patient with my two left feet. We danced to a couple songs then I called it a night.
Things I learned today:
Feel it and don't overthink it
Alcohol is a poor replacement for confidence
Dancing is similar to playing an instrument.
Instead of a guitar you're using your body.
Beautiful women like to dance & this is were you meet them
First off I have to apologize to myself. I'm also sorry to anyone who's enjoyed these posts because I like to keep this fresh the best I can. Last month was exactly the opposite of what I set out to do this year. I let life overwhelm me and stifled any new experiences. Let the excuses fly and maybe they'll be a reminder of what to avoid the next time around. Everything has come together and each challenge has been accepted and competed. I'm ready to move forward again.
Excuse 1:
I let my job consume me, this was my first year being in charge of our physical inventory and we've been about three people short for roughly four months. I've never done this and had little to no idea of how to run it. It stressed me out for the first two weeks until it finally came and went.
Result - The count went pretty smooth, I had a couple of no shows but rolled with the punches and found enough people to provide coverage. We accomplished the whole count in one night; preventing us from coming in and working on Saturday. When the final numbers came in my group kicked ass. Shortages and error rates were lower then ever. Overall dollars in losses came in at an acceptable number beating our score from last year.
Excuse 2:
When I wasn't working I was scrambling to get my rental house prepped and ready. There were plenty of nights hauling piles of bark and doing maintenance things around the property. My weekends and a few more weeknights were spent doing showings. Frustratingly enough there were plenty of no show, tire kicking assholes. Usually these were during the weekend too which pissed me off.
Result - We ended up finding our new renters by the end of the month. Their check cleared and they had good references and rental history. They also appear to be down to earth people that want to be long term tenants.
Excuse 3:
Somehow in the mix of all this mess I managed to make time to date. I chased this girl around all month long. I spent a lot of my free time coming up with clever and thoughtful dates. Going full Mosby in some ways planning and putting together sweet little nothings. Overanalyzing every interaction together making myself stress out about trying to win over this girl. Battling with myself not to go charging into this but to take it slow. I'm too type A to take things slow, I'm always looking for the next level the next goal the next step.
Result - It didn't work out, but that's a post for another day
Excuse 4:
I didn't take all the shots that presented themselves. I did have a pretty cool 30 for 30 event planned. I was going to go paragliding off tiger mountain. On my way driving to my session I got a call saying that it was cancelled because of high winds.
Result - When they tried to reschedule I denied it in favor of watching the Seahawks game instead. We get 16 games per season and I should have just gone. Now I just have a shoulda coulda woulda story instead.
All in all its just regular old life BS that wrapped me up. I have to refocus and plan some things out. It's kinda like going on vacation. You'll never end up leaving if you don't buy the plane ticket.
