#21 Conquer my biggest fear

My biggest irrational fear has always been deep water. I've swam in oceans and dark lakes but if I really dive (pun intended) into it; I think for me deep water in a greater sense is somewhat a literal representation of the unknown in my mind.  Not being able to see what's in front, below or around you. You have no real form of control as water stifles the speed and mobility of your body. The closest thing to actual monsters in this world are these giant creatures that lay claim to the underwater world. Then again, it could be a poster I had in my room as a kid. It showed all of the fish and sea life  in our state with a human size scale in the corner. In the other corner it had a picture of the ugliest sturgeon you could imagine well over any size of a regular person. Or it could be the giant skeletal structure my cousins and I pulled up out of Alki as kids. Maybe somewhere in the back of my head that's what I think of.

To conquer this fear I first had to get a better understanding of what I was afraid of. I decided to complete a two part shark cage/dive experience. What better way to face my fears than by getting up close and personal.

The first part of the lesson you're in the safety of the cage while they teach you how to breathe underwater. Once you've managed to get that right there is part two where they let you out of the cage. This all took place at the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium so it was in a very controlled setting. I personally never felt like I was in any real danger but it was a very exciting and educational experience. They started us off with a safety video and suit you up in both wetsuits and full big heavy sweaters. Surprising enough the water is really cold. I love wandering through the backdoors of places people normally don't get to see. In this case it was being on top of the shark exhibit and seeing exactly how they made the whole thing work. It looked like a  James Bond villain's lair with pools of swirling water and industrial equipment on the walls. We were hooked up to a tethered air hose and then climbed down into the tank.

Probably the most scary part of this whole event was learning how to breathe underwater. Once my head was submerged and my life became dependent on a breathing apparatus in my mouth, things got real. I panicked a couple of times. Its a shock to get used to something we take for granted every second of the day. Breathing is so automatic you don't have to think about it. Until it's gone..then all of that realization comes rushing in as fear and nothing else matters. Once I caught my composure and relaxed I was able to get the hang of it. But I tell you, that seal between my teeth and lips was clamped down as hard as I could get it.

After being down there a while I started to get a different perspective of this underwater world I was in. All of a sudden I had this feeling of being reborn. I know that kind of sounds corny but it really was a whole different world. The cage made me feel like a baby in a crib. All of my worries and daily problems disappeared into this environment. This is the kind of experience I've been looking for. The ones that shut down the rest of the world. Here I am with needs and wants limited to the bare essentials. Just experiencing what I'm doing in this moment. Take a look around and realize that my fear is simply what I can't control. Once I gave into that nothing seemed as scary anymore. 

Once I had this realization I was ready for the next step. Let's open this cage, let's see what's out there! I want to touch these things. I want to meet Trevor the photo bombing fish. I want to absorb all there is to offer. They opened the gate and that was but a tiny taste of what's to come. The sharks all still stayed relatively away from the cage. They'd go under and around it but never really close. I could see mammoth nurse sharks resting a few feet below. Sand bar sharks circling around and a bunch of little fish here and there. I was ready of round two. 

I lined both of these dives up back to back to get the full shot the first time around. My first group left and I was back in the training room with a new crew of folks now doing their second dive weeks later. I stayed suited up and then it was the whole climb into the cage process again.
Only this time we got the cage opened up right away. We each got to sit at the edge of the cage and then drop down to the tank floor. I was a little disappointed we didn't get to really swim around. But we were outside of the cage. However we were limited to the bar a few feet in front of the cage. This was a much better view and more exciting. Now the sharks that were circling the bottom of the cage were now swimming around us. Even the one Japanese Gobo shark they had swam right over my left shoulder bumping into me.

What I learned is that these guys weren't scary at all. If anything they were just big clumsy dumb guys curious about what we were doing in the water. I got a couple really close and amazing touches from the sharks in this tank. It helped me understand that they're not monsters and actually are really important to our ecosystem and environment. But more importantly they helped me realize that my fear of deep water and the "monsters" underneath is nothing more than an irrational fear.

Things I learned today:

Sharks are dangerously overfished and products of bycatch. People usually think to save dolphins in this scenario but the reality is that sharks are a far more valuable creature that keeps the ocean's ecosystem in balance by controlling smaller fish population.

For every one fatal human shark attack there are 25 million shark deaths attributed by humans.

An average sand bar shark goes through 30,000 teeth in a lifetime!

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself