This has been a really cool experience. For the past couple of weeks I've been taking horseback riding lessons. This isn't any petting zoo pony ride but legitimate, cowboy, learning how to handle, ride and saddle a horse from the ground up lessons. This 30 for 30 reached all my goals. I got to learn a new skill, it was exciting and pushed my comfort zone. Maintaining a 1,200 pound somewhat unpredictable animal is a thrill ride.
When I first showed up I was caught off guard. There was no one to greet me except the smell of fresh barn. Half a dozen horses making scary horse noises snuffing and neighing. I walk through the dimly lit barn to meet the trainer on the other side in the ring. She was showing a couple of little girls how to carefully ride around in a circle. This is halfway what I was really expecting. A boring little pony ride. Boy was I wrong; the trainer Jan pulled out my huge quarter horse Jake and handed me a brush. She explained to me that this is the best way to get familiar with him and to form a bond. Start with brushing him and make sure to keep a hand on him at all times so he knows where you're at. The only way you're going to get kicked is if there is another horse behind him otherwise they don't intentionally kick people.
After brushing him she taught me how to clean his hooves out. What?!? I have to pick his feet clean? My polo-wearing desk jockey ass had no idea I'd be elbow deep in horse poo. They're heavy too, I had to prop this big guy's gam up on my knee in a really awkward position that kills your back, to pick shit out of his hooves. I was happy to do it though, all I could think was that this is the real deal. Next I got to saddle him up learning where to keep the bridal and how to put the reigns in his mouth in between his teeth. Jan showed me the proper way to lead him into the ring as you have to keep in front of them so they don't step on your feet. How to climb up on the saddle and sit on it properly to give you the most control. Once up on Jake I felt like I was twelve feet high but he was a good horse and was a pretty easy ride. That first lesson was pretty mellow and we kept him at a walk just getting the basic controls and commands down. It's interesting because a horses eye's are on the side of their head so in order to direct them you need to be looking in the direction you want them to go.
With my second lesson I got to take Jake outside. I also got to learn how to bring him to a trot. This was a lot more bumpy and if I didn't hit it right he'd blast me pretty good. During this lesson I also got to learn how to reverse him as well. When you reverse a horse its pretty much just a giant U turn. Make sure nobody is behind you and pull your arm out in the direction you want the horse to go. I got to take him out and do a few reversals and then do it with increasing speed. Keep in mind we're outside and in the middle of deep Renton about dusk. On my third or fourth reversal something caught Jake's eye and spooked him. He took off running and wouldn't listen to me. All I could do is hold on and balance the best I could. His episode only lasted about 5 seconds but that's all it took to practically buck me off. Fortunately, I have a pretty decent natural balance and maintained the shake off. Even so it was enough to make me realize that this is an animal and I only have so much control over it.
Third lesson was even more loose. Jan started me off by telling me a horror story about her neighbor who's been riding for 42 years just lost her hand over the summer. She had it caught in a knot and the horse wasn't tied down. It took off running and drug her with it until her hand ripped off. She's always pretty good at instilling a little fear in you to make you realize that things can go sideways in an instant and if you're not paying attention you can get seriously hurt or killed. Before I climbed up on Jake she told me another story about a young girl. She was a professional rider that got bucked off her horse while wearing a hoodie which then acted like a noose. She was drug around her horse unconscious until she detached and her mom performed CPR. Jan also really likes making "well I haven't killed you yet" jokes. I don't know if Jake just could feel it or if he just wasn't in the mood but I had no control over him this lesson. It didn't help that today's lesson was going from a walk to gallop. Putting a horse at top speed while having no control over it is a pretty uneasy situation. He kept going to the other horses pens and having horsey fights too. Then he wouldn't listen to me or stay on track either. By the end of the lesson he'd almost bucked me off again and I was about done. As soon as he calmed down I jumped off and called it a night for horseback lessons. Jan admitted that he hadn't been ridden in 5 days and was a little worked up. She showed me how she runs them on a lead to tire them out a bit before hand. I watched this massive horse rip around the track at 20 mph kicking dirt up 10 feet in the air. All I could think was why didn't you do this before I rode him? Anyways, I've got one lesson left and I'm honestly feeling a little bit chicken about it. I feel like I've scraped away pretty lucky the last couple times and would hate to press my luck one last time.
Overall, I'm really happy I tried this and would go back maybe after a little more time has past. But for now I've gotten my horseback riding fill. I'd recommend Pony Tail Ranch for anyone considering lessons or a new life experience.
Things I learned today:
Just like a vehicle you need to respect something that outweighs and overpowers you.
The triangle shape within a horse's hoof is called a frog.
Horses need to be led and directed by looking in the direction you want them to go.
Things can go wrong in an instant, it's all about how you react to them.
How to saddle a horse.
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